the object of desire.

there's a difference between having things that you want and wanting things that we desire.

the possibility of having both at the same time is almost nil; almost. and the few that succeeded comes with a heavy price to pay.

i am not talking about money nor things that we can buy and get; its about things that we can't control; the most powerful elements in which most of the humans decision being made through it; heart.

i am facing the toughest of my test yet.

of foosball and fate.

foosball.

whoever invented this game, deserve a hall of fame.

this is the epitome of an uncontrolled mechanism over a controlled environment.

a sense of controlled to a certain extent.

the ball rolled over and the only way to hit it is by a string of players fixed at certain position with a forward and backward movement.

i would like to think that this game represents our life; we have controlled over what happened to us but not what happened around us. situational experience requires us to bend and mould our life in order to gel with the unexpected elements that is fate as we called it.

do we have control over fate? or does fate actually gives us the capacity to chose? does fate merely asking us the question of what you want to do? i would like to believe that we have control over what we choose based on the choices given by fate.

"manzek, this is the situation. a) if you choose A, this is what will become of you. b) if you choose b, this will happen to you". i would imagine that this is the sort of q that fate would asks of us.

or, is fate actually a reflection of our brain neutrons working cohesively with our emotion to decide on things that needs to be decided? if that is the case, then fate is just a romantic notion of not having control over a controlled situation.

foosball and fate; 2 similar differences over the notion of taking control; power.

the bucket list.

my bucket list:

1) bungee jumping
2) see the 7 wonders of the world
3) own all of jack purcell edition
4) flat abs and six packers
5) own a super pimped samba van
6) ....

the list goes on and on. things that you want to do before you call it a day, before you turn to dusts and dissapear from the realm of society.

but do you even take the time to think about these things? we are so caught up with ourwork, activities that take up most of our time that we have fail to live lives that we want to and really really want to.

i saw this movie 'the bucket list', a fantastically emotional and lovable story of 2 terminally ill guys, Jack nicholson and morgan freemen. one guy; a rich, powerful but lonely and one greedy mofo, while the other, a loving and devoted father and husband of whom all his life, he is suppress by the need to put food on his family's table, and all of the time sacrificing himself for others.

when 2 things are in need of each other, deprived of them for so long, its human nature to go back to the very being of being human, the thrills of adventure and an extra dose of adrenalin to pump up the system. do watch it. worth the time.

this is what makes us interesting and diff from other species; the things that makes us happy and the ability to appreciate happiness.

happiness is about appreciation of the things big and small.
but,
its the small things that we take for granted that really matters; friends, food, the air we breathe, the ability to feel the freshwater every time we take our bath, and our pair of eyes to be observiant of the great nature that God have blessed us with. the greatest things in life are free.

but how about money? to a certain extent, yes we must have money but at the same time we must not have too many of 'em. having all the money in the world will eventually rid of you the capacity to appreciate things as well as relationships. money does not buy you the desire and the pulling factor.

i just hope that i am making some sense here as i am sensing that i'm gone too far too fast.

chiau.

elements of life.

living your life, each day, it seems, destiny have the upper hand. does it seems so? life, death, illnesses, war, marriage, friends, families, the elements in our lifetime. destiny has its own way of telling us that, it can be moulded but not erased. destiny and life is about choices. we choose the way we want to live. we have been given the rights by Allah to actually determine, how do we see and how do we live this mortal life. we have the privileged to lead our life the way we want to. all things must be based upon. and human beings, have to lead life based on something that he or she believes. for us, its Islam, and it is our way of life. i realised something this morning. why does God create Heaven and Hell? why does God permit the act of sins, ppl manupilating ppl, opressions? why? because its a choice that God have blessed us with. the will to choose. we choose not to do a single thing about it. we have the wrong notion about life. Berserah Pada Takdir. Sesuatu Yang Berlaku etc etc. yes, we have to ask from God if we wanted someting. but it is really up to us. choices, ways of getting things. handle things. destiny is about making choices.

FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE AND INDIVIDUALITY.

how do you really define freedom? it's very very subjective...
and in what kind of freedom? freedom to speak? freedom to
express onself in public? freedom of thinking?
Do you have to be abnormal publicly to actually personifying yourself
as being the true product of freedom?

am i being chained to others belief, to be stereotyped just because i dress the same, watched the same movie's as others, walking the same path that
everyone does? just because we look the same doesnt mean that
we think the same, we feel bout certain issue the same, we agreed
about certain policies, same as others. NO.

The truth about freedom and independence, as hard as it may seem,
freedom and independence are being determined by others, by policies,
by other writers, or freedom seekers, and is being followed by others as well. And, where does the individuality comes? Isn't it ironic?

Enjoying freedom, independence and individuality doesnt mean that you have to dress differently, or avoid going to public places, it is really up to oneself because it's how you feel about everything. It's the ability to think, to speak, to express oneself freely about the opinion of others; whether in classes, in discussions, in a control and civilised way. It comes back to mentality, the higher we generates the level of our mind, the more freedom and unique we will fell about everything.

epitome of a sensible cause.

discover a new species,own land on the moon,get that houseget that yatchget that girl, someone's gonna do it,why not you.. why not you....

sounds familliar?an advert just before starting any movie at tgv.somehow, it goes line in line with the next thing that i watch.though its an advert about alcohol, which i despise,its ironic because that tagline is what ego and desiresare all about. power. self realization of the thingswe fight for. go into war. for wealth, lands, gold, pride, andthe oldest factor that war can often be ignited; women. clashes of civilizations derived from such factors.leaders, warlords, ancient greek mythology about gods andeven writers; all are with war with the other side or inside.what strike me the most is, Archilles vs Hector, Agamemnon vsPrime. the first one, fight for love, with the second, for pride.Troy for Sparta. Civilizations are built through thousands of years, yetthe subtlety of the beautifuland weary eye of a woman destroys all that. such the powerthat with women, that even zeus and archilles,2 of the most fearsome gods of greek, succumb to one of the 7 major sins; lust.

'women have instinctive ways of complicating situations'.
archilles was told by his trusted captain before he sent orders to go back homeeventhough his egoes were battered because of the defeat.then again, these men, ancient gods of greek, warrior, archillesand hector, they fight for their woman. they believe in love.

God created us with equality. with strenghts of a differentkind. men with physical and mental strength; leaders,and great philosophers. women with an awesome power tocontain even the strongest of men, to change the course of pride and egoeswith a slightest of touch. women are the creaturesof the heart. god has given us and bestowed us withsuch strengths; the intellectual prowess of brawns and brains,with the beautiful intelligent emotions of the opposite sex.perfect.

as hector clearly put it, “love your women. some warsare fight for lands, some for sands, some for pride, and somefor power. but, the greatest fight that had ever been fought or will be, love would be the most sensible cause – Prima”.