namanzee harris

2009's WHY

2009-01-09T09:24:00.002+08:00

my new year resolutions.

none.

most of my friends do not have new year resolutions; a few hopeless romantic has but most of us just get bored by making resolutions that we know wont be able to achieve; its like breaking promises to your own self.

my new year started off with quite an ambitious idea as my birthday coincide with the Islamic new year. i had hoped that that would be a sign of good things to come for me in 2009. it does in my marital life as i will be expecting my first son by Feb. Good health, with my brand new home on the way and wifey all happy as a bunny can be.

i cant say so in the career part. i am tired of waiting and exhausted by the amount of work to be done with so little in return. i dont mind the work; i am a passionate guy but the fact that i have the knowledge of unfairness in terms of the compensations given to different level of people, makes me a less dedicated guy trapped in an eccentric soul yearning for the success of my ventures.

resolutions i dont have but what i will ask from God is to seek the knowledge of this world and beyond and to seek my own understanding of why scenario's happened the way they did.

all i am and what i am is this. i am not playing the waiting game nor any kind of political or mind games and whatever comes before me, i will take it and do it the way i do it.

the strength of me comes by my own capacity to think and act independently.

thats who i am and thats what i will always be.

29,29,2009

2008-12-30T09:04:00.006+08:00

yesterday i celebrated my 29th birthday. 29th december 2009. seems like a good combo. 29 years old on the 29th dec of the year 2009. talk about getting it right.

at this age, i'd prob should not be worrying about what i'm going to do with my life as it should have fall into place. it seems so but a few days of solidarity and silence have put a lot of things into perspective; mainly the questions of existence, purpose, and the theory to everything.

it's an interesting fact that we have tried to pursue God to the far reach of the universe; our minds have taken us millions of light years into the next galaxy, Andromeda but the very feet that touches the earth soil, modern technology can only takes us 8 miles from the possible hundred of thousands of miles to the center of the earth.

it comes back to our very nature; we like to reach for the sky and yet we have forgotten where we started from.

there's so much that we know about the outer space (or so the western NASA tells us as to justify the billions spent which brings me to another question; why haven't we land on the moon again and the fact that Nasa had lost the moon landing tape?) but we have yet to fully understand the very nature of mantel and crust and how gravity works.

perhaps if we do so, the theory to everything will collapse and the work of aristotle, copernicus, kepler and galileo will be crushed and so will the cosmology study that have long been touted as the greatest study of all and all will be lost together with general relativity, big bang, strings theory and stephen hawking.

i have asked from God to give me the knowledge of this world and beyond. that would be my greatest present that can be given as i have taken back this interest to study existence back from my fourth grade year.

quantum mechanics explained that the universe is no fabric of space nor it expands entirely; it is super complex with infinite variables that makes specific things for different beings.

hmmm... i am beginning to doubt its existence at all.

characters of life.

2008-12-05T09:23:00.003+08:00

in a play, storyline presents itself as the central element in a drama; same goes with a football game where the gameplan and strategy is the core factor in winning.

we have made to believe romantically that its all about stories in a drama; that football should be played beatifully as a cohesive team.

i have come to realize that no matter how strong a story can be, and as strategically played football game as a team that can be played, characters and players shaped the kind of perception on the outside audience and inside the pitch.

bicara cinta and inai malam pengantin are very strong dramas; very strong on the storylines but the weakness is in the development of character; from point A to point B, from eps 1 to eps 26. the character never evolves; barely if there any.

same goes with arsenal; hugely talented squad with beatifully played game but there's no players that shape the mentality inside the pitch.

characters and players is central; to drama and arsenal.

imagine the workplace full with robot-like-staffs; cohesive, efficient, but stagnant. an organization must be a thinking-based one and though the core values shaped the vision and mission statement, its the character of players inside that makes it breaks it.

against the odd

2008-11-11T09:22:00.004+08:00

last weekend was quite perfect for me for one big reason; arsenal beat man united 2-1. the best part is that arsenal were in a barren run, so bad that they lost to stoke city, drew 4-4 with spurs and 0-0 with fenerbahce just a few days earlier.

unpredictability and the fact that these young lads stand up and fought when their back stacked heavily against the wall.

this is pure motivational dr fadzilah kamsah stuff.

which comes to this point; people, given the right challenge, and the right powerful opponent, can achieve big things against the odd.

arsenal have no choice but to face man united as it's a fixed fixture; but in other form of situation, the challenge is not from the challenge itself, but whether we are willing to give the opportunity to others when times are bad.

2 minds

2008-11-05T09:01:00.004+08:00

i am constantly in 2 minds; the desire to do well and do the right thing.

what define a structure is its set of values and core values. the make up of each structure thus creates the organizational culture within capitalism; benchmarked by top level leaders and embedded to the lower ranks.

to do well, one have to embrace these cultures that has been subconciously cultivated; not the core values that is perceived to be, but what it really is. and what it really is, is the fact of what is in the mind and not what the mind see.

what is in the mind is not necessarily healthy depending on the set of values the top leaders project.

i am tempted to take these cultures in and be successful.

but what i am, what im taught to do and what has been my core belief dismisses these cognitive cultures; and my values is in line with what the mind see as core values as an organization.

but life ain't always what we see; same goes with brands.

i might be doing the right thing but not do well, and vice versa.

but as one wise man say of which i have forgotten who, it's the choices that he makes that defines a man; so i choose...

BIG DIFFERENCE; small things.

2008-11-04T08:58:00.005+08:00

i am but astound by the very nature that men can make a big difference by small petty things that men does; through words and gestures.

see how socrates words remain unchanged and completely relevant till now when he said that the world is in constant flux.

aristotle's philosophy of brands stand still with his form and structure values and coined the essence of political science and logic.

descartes quotation cogito ergo sum which means i think therefore i am is constantly being used by intellectuals and people of a different backgrounds for thousands of years.

terry fox run is his desire to create an awareness of cancer and even turned down multi million dollars sponsorship as to not detract the purpose.

che guevara travelled on foot instinctively to understand the extent of poverty among latin americans.

bob marley fought discriminations and brutality through his music; so does linkin park and micheal jackson.

all these great men have one commonality; the honesty to tell and share thoughts where it matters.

big men and big ideas comes through the simplest of grammars and gestures. and all men can make a big difference no matter how small the contributions are.

one more thing; these men died; but their thoughts and small gestures had lived.

the beautiful game

2008-10-30T08:32:00.005+08:00

football. i love this game. it reminds me of life. unpredictablility and surprises. the rich versus the not so. passion versus money. david vs goliath. and football is the torch of the fight against racism.

my team, arsenal played spurs last night. arch rivals. the game finishes at 4-4; 2 goals in the last 3 minutes sealed a draw for spurs. it was hearbreaking to see we drew at the very last seconds of the game.

but hey, thats life. one can never be sure of anything but be very sure of surprises that will happens along the way.

socrates said thousands of years ago, that the world is in constant flux; that nothing is for certain and take nothing for granted.

granted; cause life will always does that to you.

manzek

turmoil

2008-10-29T09:03:00.005+08:00

turmoil. the word i've heard so many times over the past few weeks.

majority of it financial and economy. it affects the mass more but there is a turmoil that everybody feels and its called mental and emotional turmoil.

which determines what? does the strength of mind controls the emotion or otherwise? do we homo sapiens have the ability to control both? i would love to think that but its just ain't so.

i have control over my thoughts but not what i fell. i can choose to think positively but i can never forced myself to feel happy. one can never fool themselves; not even once.

our humanistic structure is such that the first thing that happens when a news is given affects how you feel not cognitively. that is immediate and pure. there's no such thing as 'i don't know how to feel after hearing this'; this sentence is used normally to control our emotion and after our mind takes control over what we felt.

my dominant heart tells me to take this turmoil somewhere else but my mind is struggling to control it and be strong.

i'd love to follow what i feel in the same breath as i'd love to munch chocolate all day long; but like chocolate, indulging in it too much would mean certain death. i'd settle for my thoughts for now.

like my friend La Bruyere said, its a tragedy if you feel, but a comedy if you think.

conundrum of causality

2008-10-24T18:42:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to feel or how to feel in this state of mine. i'm in this transitional process; waiting for something to be official but at the same time on the verge of leaving behind present time; as been told as an idea.

quite easy but difficult. easy coz leaving things always does but hard coz not knowing for sure where to.

i'm in a conundrum of causality.

a cause in which have taken me into this state of nowhere.

i was so sure about life before; well i guess life have knocked me to the side of the road and left me wandering.

its better to be certain about life and then fail than being unsure and ambiguous and achieve nothing.

i dont like the question 'what if' as 'what if' will only takes us to a series of unanswerable questions. no firm direction.

passion

2008-10-21T19:20:00.003+08:00

passion moves people

passion moves brands

and passion is the number quality in any company.

is it?

passion can drive people to kill people: crime of passion

passion can lead to unwanted, unprotected intercourse/ sex: hot passionate

and being passionate can be mistaken for being stubborn.

being passionate is the ultimate inner state to be in any kind of situation.

really?

it mystifies me to find passionate people being sidelined to give way for PR and realistic individuals.

it had rocked my core believe that passion is the number one quality to find in any being; as it is listed as the number one element in this company of mine.

is the world we live in changed dramatically over the exposure of reality series, framed news, MTV, E! that the very nature of humanistic character is being re-defined and accepted?

i do hope that i'm right about this that nothing else matter than being passionate people; if i'm wrong then let me be wrong cause i would'nt want to live in a world full of realistic individuals who feed on liars, hyprocrites and statistics.

things can never be the same again

2008-10-21T08:57:00.003+08:00

one thing that doesn't change is change itself.

everything else does, but change is constant.

change is tough and difficult but by adapting to it, is what makes us alive and kickin.

it challenges us to look 360 degrees and mould those new elements into new surroundings.

change is a must but don't change just for the sake of changing.

my current organization is undergoing changes; major one that would involve almost everyone. some secrets are out, others yet to be unfold and told. this idea of change have been affecting people to a certain degree; where am i going, whats the new strategy, whose the new boss, etc. whether its healthy, i don't know but it certainly had made everybody on their feet all the time.

the world is changing economically and economy changes everything; people, countries and life itself. on this note major companies are undergoing this phase of re structuring.

it can never be the same again; here.

sketching

2008-10-20T09:12:00.002+08:00

i had wanted to re capture my childhood hobby; painting. have been thinking about buying paint brush, canvas, colouring tools etc for a few weeks now and i hope this weekend i would be able to do it.

i'm all into abstract; it requires you to put an extra effort cognitively and the freedom of expression infinitely.

some people say that painting, drawing is a good treatment for the soul; it also serves as a historical artifact in which we could pin point the exact emotional situation when we draw it.

roots of tragedy.

2008-10-16T09:27:00.004+08:00

the roots of tragedy comes from the ignorence of the roots itself.

we like to see the destruction of people more than we want to see someone's happy. tragedy sells more than happy endings. nirvana sells more records after the death of kurt cobain; dark knight movie review gained more attention than hurricane katrina after the passing of heath ledger. and so on... james dean, marilyn monroe, mona fandey...

the current administration of the government headed by mr nice guy deserved this accolates as well. every muthu, ali, and ah chong wanted to see this guy fail; and fail miserably. misery came and he's a hero again.

he is a man of whom seems to be the type of guy just next door, nice, accomodating, frank and pious. but he is also oblivious to the truth and the truth is that he's lost touch on the root in which all of his values as a leader built upon. he got lost in the light and surrounded by liars and accommodaters of whom only think about themselves. its ok to be surrounded by these people as the social contruct of society needs them to be like that, but its not ok to leave decision making policies to them; its like leaving candy to a 2 year old. messy.

same goes in any framework of social network such as a community and an organization; leaders must not get off touch with the bottom and middle root of the hierarchical chart in which the performance and core bussiness lies with.

like i said, people like to see the idea of tragedy unfold in front of their eyes and being sympathetic at the same time.

dont lose touch with the roots and fundamental elements accross our lives; be it culturally, socially, and profesionally. as history tells you, the root of tragedy comes from the ignorence of the root itself.

thank you for smoking

2008-10-14T09:14:00.005+08:00

my brain is trying to think of something to write today.. it's buzzing with global warming, smoking, the fact that the glazier is melting faster than the seconds ticking, that now i can see genting highland from afar during daytime (yes, you can practically see the first world hotel from the puchong toll) and review on al gore's docu An Inconvenient Truth... but i guess i'm just gonna let Linkin Park sing it for all of us... the title up there has got a lil bit to do with all this, and its actually from one of the best written movie i have seen...

let me be an activist freak today... at least i can tell those green loving people, politicians and my future offsprings that i have done my part in spreading the message...

In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
What I've done
Forgiving what I've done

i fell in love with its lyrics, song and video clip the first time around and 2 years after that, i the song still captivate me and it has given me new perspective towards environment.

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'With Money You Can Buy A House But Not A Home.With Money You Can Buy A Clock But Not Time. With Money You Can Buy A Bed But Not Sleep. With Money You Can Buy A Book But Not Knowledge. With Money You Can See A Doctor But Not Good Health. With Money You Can Buy A Position But Not Respect. With Money You Can Buy Blood But Not A Life. With Money You Can Buy Sex But Not Love.'
-Chinese Proverb-

whats happiness to you when you dont know pain?

2008-10-10T09:06:00.004+08:00

these last few weeks have been by far the most dramatic moments of my life; not physically but more emotionally.

i have never thought that i could feel a bone crushing sense when i was told of a certain news.

that is not what i want to write here.

it made me think; that life is such an adventure, a roller coster of mix feelings and that what makes it more fullfilling.

i felt every sense of pain and that makes me more human than ever. its astounding how pain can rejuvenate one's perspective towards life.

pain makes you think; pain makes you feel; and pain makes you more ambitious than ever.

in contrast, happiness makes you dull; it makes you weak and it makes you content.

whats happiness to you when you dont know the sense of pain?

pain makes me want to leap into a blue ocean and ditch those enviromental determinism factor that had consumed me terribly.

how should i then re invent myself?

raya's over; back to the game.

2008-10-08T10:45:00.003+08:00

raya went pass by so quickly... here i find myself back in my 5 ft x 6 cubicle, in front of this slow and limited space pc, trying to find my way back into this programming game that had consumed so many lives...

do i want to do it all over again? consider this; after spending 2 years working my ass up and down, week in week out filled with scars from the weekly meetings over this nielsen's creation of trying to get into the heads of people, then painstakingly achieving the target set not yearly, not twice a year, but right after you have achieved the first target then comes the next one; suddenly you are in this situation where you've been given something else, quite new and a gift of questioning your own state of capability. would i do it all over again?

you bet.

there's nothing like programming. nothing. the game requires you to be on your best every time; even when times are bad, you have to summoned your inner best character to deal with it.

programming is all about managing; managing expectations, managing strategies, managing pr, managing marketing, managing people and managing yourself.

i might be doing something else than managing channel but im still within the game of programming; and more. i am both excited and fear for the future. but fear for me is an injection of 'pre-emptive' medicine.

i believe in the grand scheme of things, i have a part to play though its not what i had wanted, it might turn out to be the best outcome for all.

what have i become?

2008-09-26T08:21:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling festive; with raya just around the corner. can't wait to just go back to where my life had started and meet some old faces with whom i grew up with.

i grew up knowing exactly none of what i will become; a rationalist with a bit sense of radical thinking and free will. i had hope that i can go back and be a free spirit; not govern by structures, news bulletin and framed by limitations to life's need for ringgit.

i had become this capitalist; not knowing what success is and how it could satisfy me. capitalism does not acknowledge success.

i met with 2 huge characters these past 3 days; micheal wiese and u wei shaari. 2 highly successful, award winning filmmakers and a free spirit. why would is say free spirited guys? Micheal in his opening speech, asked all of us, what is success? how do you picture your success? everybody was saying, when you have the money, when you win award, when you created a phenomenal format etc. then i said to him this: but micheal, capitalism does not acknowledge success. what a loser that i had become. he told us that success is your own fragment of craft; you can define success by making your dad happy, by eating well, by serving community. i need to cleanse myself from this sin of mine.

u wei shaari, an independent filmmaker, won many awards overseas, international recognition, but gets less attention back home. and he told me that he has not watched tv for the past 20 years! wow... now that is something. i cant stop thinking that he has this unpolluted mind, kept safely from the realm from social reality that we have created, far from being infected by corrupt news and the seduction of marketing lust. he is the kind of man of whom clearly dictates his own thinking and thus has become who he is today.

can i go back to the past, re look and re define my purpose in this tech driven world of which we have been chained by tv, media, ads, politics and social construction of reality? i doubt it but i'm hoping i can be the likes of micheal and u wei someday.

happy raya day.

perseverence and hope

2008-09-24T08:20:00.000+08:00

on the way to work this morning, i listen to linkin park.. in one of the song they say..

with hands held high into the sky so blue, as the ocean opens up to swallow you...

quite a simplistic lyrics but so much to tell in one sentence.

it quickly tells the story of mankind's struggle in this ever so judgemental world that we have created; man with hopes and dreams; thinking that there's so much to achieve and so many opportunity lies above them but as they slowly trying to reach for the sky, the real world eats them slowly, and all of a sudden when they realize it, its all too late to do anything.

there's that danger in all developing nation, people trying to balance out aspirations and realities. you try too hard, you'll get resentment and frustration, you don't try, you'll get left behind.

but then again, as napoleon says, victory belongs to the most persevering.

the science of music

2008-09-23T08:43:00.000+08:00

music is drugs to me.

rythm and lyrics if both perfectly crafted, changes a man; internally, externally and shape the mood for the day.

i'd listen to guns and roses to hype and activate my active mode.

i'd listen to linkin park for some humanitarian feel and a sense of rebellious.

i'd listen to gary moore if i'm in blues mode.i'd feel like partying while listening to alicia keys or eminem.

i'd tune in to john mayor and jason mraz for some feel good music.

now i'm into gavin degraw; i feel like being myself and 'dont wanna be' someone else.

the science of music can be found by the rythm of our heart and the lyrics of our brain.

manzek

worst day

2008-09-23T08:42:00.000+08:00

last week marked the worst day of my career life; i was given the news that i won't be getting the position that i have worked on for the past 1 and a half years. the best part is, that position will be given to someone least expected in the company. i shall not criticise on the replacement but rather the process in which they decides. the reason given; i'm not ready; i have the traits that needed for the position but im just not ready.

who ever is ready for something new? how woudl you know if someone is ready or not? its not the right question. the question should be is he well equipped with the knowledge to manage the new role given. nobody knows whether they are ready until they are given the chance to do it. chance is something that i only seek; a chance to state my claim and present my case. but that is also taken away from me.

it hurts me to the point of scarring my proverbial heart and it'll take time to mend it. but life goes on.i am a bad loser but im not a sulker. i love to prove people wrong and i'll do whatever it takes to achieve it sooner or later.

manzek

nilai mata dan jiwa

2008-09-23T08:41:00.002+08:00

apabila kita melihat aspek kejayaan, kita melihat ianya dari satu sudut yang amat kecil; begitu kecil hinggakan kita hanya melihat satu aspek; pemimpinnya. pernahkah kita terfikir bahawa kejayaan yg sedia ada adalah hasil daripada satu mekanisma yg membantu pemimpin menjayakannya?

mekanisma boleh berasal dari pelbagai elemen; proses, intipati scenario, dan juga institusi kemanusiaan yg membantu si pemimpin mengecapi kejayaan itu. namun demikian, manusia sememangnya mudah dibutakan mata dan hati.

dibutakan melalui satu kuasa penyebab; jawatan , rupa dan pembawakan. semua yg disebutkan adalah lahir daripada realiti yang dibuat buat dan dihasilkan oleh teknologi media, suratkhabar, televisyen dan majalah.

Hasilnya, satu masyarakat global yang menilai sesuatu perkara melalui nilai mata dan bukannya nilai jiwa.apabila nilai mata dilihat lebih daripada kecantikan jiwa, apa yang berlaku adalah lahirnya golongan-golongan elit yang berpaksikan hipokrasi, penyebab utama keruntuhan institusi cendekiawan dalam sesuatu organisasi.

runtuhnya cendekiawan dalam organisasi, hilangnya akal didalam arus kehendak hati, akan menjadi titik tolak keruntuhan sistem yang menjadi tiang utama sesebuah organisasi.kebolehan berfikir secara efektif adalah teras berbanding kebolehan bergaya.

Manzek

simplicity

2008-09-23T08:41:00.001+08:00

men are from mars, women.. err where do they come from? in relation to the chemistry between both species, universal truth is that men like to keep it simple and women likes to complicate things. now before we jump into any mode here lets be extremely frank with ourselves. how many times, for men, have we been asked to say i love you, miss you, etc etc and that you have never said i love you, and even if we've said it twice a week, they'll say it's not enough, you have to say it more often.... isn't the ring tells you something? isn't sacrificing futsals and teh tarik sessions with fellow car freaks sealed the deal? shesshhhhh. later...

budget

2008-09-23T08:40:00.000+08:00

budget budget budget. time to do budgeting for next year; we did 3 years in advance but it's always once a year practise. prob its best that i start doing my personal budget more rigorously... kid on the way, just bought a house, its time to cramp up all my pockets and starts spending rationally. i am a rational person, but when it comes to money, i'm like a kid with kit kat in my hand, i'll make one hell of a mess but i'd enjoy every bit of it. i like to indulge myself on the things that i love; cars, movies, fashion. and these things aren't cheap. i used to drive an alfa romeo, a beautiful car; rugged, but very sensitive on the inside. i'll spend more time going to the mechanic than spending my time with my other half; she even suggested that i should name it. i did eventually, called it Bella. what a car. after i had come to my senses to actually sell it, i bought my self a car that is both reputable and reliable from japan of course and i thought that i'll be at peace and no more paying hommage to garage, smelling oil filters and stuffs, but no no no. now i'm into accessorising. you see, driving a japanese car around town is like window shopping with your wife; you'll end up buying something for her. arghh... dvd touchscreen...

trying to stay blogging.

2008-09-23T08:38:00.000+08:00

i have been trying to stay blogging like the rest of the world for few times; hopefully this will be the last one. this latest decision is mainly to share my pov on issues that affecting myself, me and i on things relating to whatever it is; politics, relationships, cars, girls etc.so here goes.

Manzek

the object of desire.

2008-04-25T16:48:00.000+08:00

there's a difference between having things that you want and wanting things that we desire.

the possibility of having both at the same time is almost nil; almost. and the few that succeeded comes with a heavy price to pay.

i am not talking about money nor things that we can buy and get; its about things that we can't control; the most powerful elements in which most of the humans decision being made through it; heart.

i am facing the toughest of my test yet.

of foosball and fate.

2008-04-22T17:05:00.001+08:00

foosball.

whoever invented this game, deserve a hall of fame.

this is the epitome of an uncontrolled mechanism over a controlled environment.

a sense of controlled to a certain extent.

the ball rolled over and the only way to hit it is by a string of players fixed at certain position with a forward and backward movement.

i would like to think that this game represents our life; we have controlled over what happened to us but not what happened around us. situational experience requires us to bend and mould our life in order to gel with the unexpected elements that is fate as we called it.

do we have control over fate? or does fate actually gives us the capacity to chose? does fate merely asking us the question of what you want to do? i would like to believe that we have control over what we choose based on the choices given by fate.

"manzek, this is the situation. a) if you choose A, this is what will become of you. b) if you choose b, this will happen to you". i would imagine that this is the sort of q that fate would asks of us.

or, is fate actually a reflection of our brain neutrons working cohesively with our emotion to decide on things that needs to be decided? if that is the case, then fate is just a romantic notion of not having control over a controlled situation.

foosball and fate; 2 similar differences over the notion of taking control; power.

the bucket list.

2008-04-21T15:00:00.001+08:00

my bucket list:

1) bungee jumping
2) see the 7 wonders of the world
3) own all of jack purcell edition
4) flat abs and six packers
5) own a super pimped samba van
6) ....

the list goes on and on. things that you want to do before you call it a day, before you turn to dusts and dissapear from the realm of society.

but do you even take the time to think about these things? we are so caught up with ourwork, activities that take up most of our time that we have fail to live lives that we want to and really really want to.

i saw this movie 'the bucket list', a fantastically emotional and lovable story of 2 terminally ill guys, Jack nicholson and morgan freemen. one guy; a rich, powerful but lonely and one greedy mofo, while the other, a loving and devoted father and husband of whom all his life, he is suppress by the need to put food on his family's table, and all of the time sacrificing himself for others.

when 2 things are in need of each other, deprived of them for so long, its human nature to go back to the very being of being human, the thrills of adventure and an extra dose of adrenalin to pump up the system. do watch it. worth the time.

this is what makes us interesting and diff from other species; the things that makes us happy and the ability to appreciate happiness.

happiness is about appreciation of the things big and small.
but,
its the small things that we take for granted that really matters; friends, food, the air we breathe, the ability to feel the freshwater every time we take our bath, and our pair of eyes to be observiant of the great nature that God have blessed us with. the greatest things in life are free.

but how about money? to a certain extent, yes we must have money but at the same time we must not have too many of 'em. having all the money in the world will eventually rid of you the capacity to appreciate things as well as relationships. money does not buy you the desire and the pulling factor.

i just hope that i am making some sense here as i am sensing that i'm gone too far too fast.

chiau.

elements of life.

2008-04-04T12:32:00.000+08:00

living your life, each day, it seems, destiny have the upper hand. does it seems so? life, death, illnesses, war, marriage, friends, families, the elements in our lifetime. destiny has its own way of telling us that, it can be moulded but not erased. destiny and life is about choices. we choose the way we want to live. we have been given the rights by Allah to actually determine, how do we see and how do we live this mortal life. we have the privileged to lead our life the way we want to. all things must be based upon. and human beings, have to lead life based on something that he or she believes. for us, its Islam, and it is our way of life. i realised something this morning. why does God create Heaven and Hell? why does God permit the act of sins, ppl manupilating ppl, opressions? why? because its a choice that God have blessed us with. the will to choose. we choose not to do a single thing about it. we have the wrong notion about life. Berserah Pada Takdir. Sesuatu Yang Berlaku etc etc. yes, we have to ask from God if we wanted someting. but it is really up to us. choices, ways of getting things. handle things. destiny is about making choices.

FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE AND INDIVIDUALITY.

2008-04-04T12:28:00.001+08:00

how do you really define freedom? it's very very subjective...
and in what kind of freedom? freedom to speak? freedom to
express onself in public? freedom of thinking?
Do you have to be abnormal publicly to actually personifying yourself
as being the true product of freedom?

am i being chained to others belief, to be stereotyped just because i dress the same, watched the same movie's as others, walking the same path that
everyone does? just because we look the same doesnt mean that
we think the same, we feel bout certain issue the same, we agreed
about certain policies, same as others. NO.

The truth about freedom and independence, as hard as it may seem,
freedom and independence are being determined by others, by policies,
by other writers, or freedom seekers, and is being followed by others as well. And, where does the individuality comes? Isn't it ironic?

Enjoying freedom, independence and individuality doesnt mean that you have to dress differently, or avoid going to public places, it is really up to oneself because it's how you feel about everything. It's the ability to think, to speak, to express oneself freely about the opinion of others; whether in classes, in discussions, in a control and civilised way. It comes back to mentality, the higher we generates the level of our mind, the more freedom and unique we will fell about everything.

epitome of a sensible cause.

2008-04-04T10:16:00.001+08:00

discover a new species,own land on the moon,get that houseget that yatchget that girl, someone's gonna do it,why not you.. why not you....

sounds familliar?an advert just before starting any movie at tgv.somehow, it goes line in line with the next thing that i watch.though its an advert about alcohol, which i despise,its ironic because that tagline is what ego and desiresare all about. power. self realization of the thingswe fight for. go into war. for wealth, lands, gold, pride, andthe oldest factor that war can often be ignited; women. clashes of civilizations derived from such factors.leaders, warlords, ancient greek mythology about gods andeven writers; all are with war with the other side or inside.what strike me the most is, Archilles vs Hector, Agamemnon vsPrime. the first one, fight for love, with the second, for pride.Troy for Sparta. Civilizations are built through thousands of years, yetthe subtlety of the beautifuland weary eye of a woman destroys all that. such the powerthat with women, that even zeus and archilles,2 of the most fearsome gods of greek, succumb to one of the 7 major sins; lust.

'women have instinctive ways of complicating situations'.
archilles was told by his trusted captain before he sent orders to go back homeeventhough his egoes were battered because of the defeat.then again, these men, ancient gods of greek, warrior, archillesand hector, they fight for their woman. they believe in love.

God created us with equality. with strenghts of a differentkind. men with physical and mental strength; leaders,and great philosophers. women with an awesome power tocontain even the strongest of men, to change the course of pride and egoeswith a slightest of touch. women are the creaturesof the heart. god has given us and bestowed us withsuch strengths; the intellectual prowess of brawns and brains,with the beautiful intelligent emotions of the opposite sex.perfect.

as hector clearly put it, “love your women. some warsare fight for lands, some for sands, some for pride, and somefor power. but, the greatest fight that had ever been fought or will be, love would be the most sensible cause – Prima”.